It's just me.

Jensen, why do you have to hurt us so?

I think I know why Dean doesn’t hug Cas. When you like someone a whole lot, but you’re afraid that A. they won’t reciprocate or B. it is somehow wrong for you to like them, then you tend to avoid temptation. Or at least, some people do. I have liked people in the past, but avoided them because I knew I would fall and fall hard, and bring them down with me. I had serious self-esteem problems for a long time that influenced how I behaved toward people I had feelings for. And sometimes I just wasn’t willing to put myself on the line like that. It would be too big a risk; I stood to lose too much of myself in the bargain.

Dean doesn’t want to lose himself in Cas, and he senses that would be quite easy to do. He has a job and responsibilities to his brother and the world in general. Falling head over heels in love with a sexy angel doesn’t figure into the equation of his life he has grown accustomed to. (He’s also insecure and has a fair amount of self loathing he has dealt with since the beginning of the show. Why would he want to “corrupt” an angel with his sinful ways, his soiled soul?)

BUT… sometimes he can’t help but touch, or look… and sometimes the light shines out of him. That’s what drew Castiel in and got him hooked. And why he was so hopelessly devoted to Dean—up until the souls thing. It’s really sad but I can totally see how one could interpret Dean’s feelings for Cas as too intense to express. On the other hand, it could all just be a big mindfuck by the actors, trying to twist us fangirls all up in knots for no good reason. If that’s the case, they really are a bunch of dicks. ;P

Also: When Dean calls Castiel a child or a baby, I don’t see it as an intentional insult (except for maybe the “baby in a trenchcoat” scene, and that was more out of a general sense of frustration than a spirit of meanness). He feels protective of children, and therefore, protective of Cas. He gets angry when the angel takes on so much more than he’s capable of handling - and lets face it, he does that all the time. He sees the innocence beneath (or perhaps despite) the warrior’s facade, and it pisses him off that no one else gets the significance of that (least of all Cas).

And don’t forget that “baby” is a term of endearment for a reason. Your “baby” is someone you have protective, loving feelings for - someone you hold close to your heart, someone you want to shelter from the pain and dangers of life. Calling someone a “child” generally means they are immature, but also painfully naive, unaware of the consequences of what they are playing with; the forces Cas deals with are so powerful, but he seems to think he can do whatever he will sometimes. It is naive, it is childlike, for him to suppose that he can do all that he has tried to do and walk away from it intact. But what Dean perhaps doesn’t understand fully is that Castiel probably didn’t ever intend to walk away unharmed. He was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for what he believed in… not just his life, his essential self.

Or maybe Dean does understand that and it angers him enough to call Cas a child for it. It is a kind of idealism that rarely results in anything good, as Dean can attest. Perhaps he’s just angry that Cas may be as stupidly self-sacrificing as he is; he can’t believe anyone else would be that dumb. Or that self-destructive.